Surviving the Elements of Writing

In the first lesson, you dipped your toes into some short writing practices to exercise your brain. Before we move into more developed writing, we need to examine some important elements of sentence structure and word choice to strengthen arguments.

Active Voice

Active voice is when the subject of a sentence does the action rather than receiving it. It makes sentences clearer, stronger, and more direct.

- - Example:
    - Active Voice: The player dropped the ball.
      - Subject: Player
      - Action: Dropped
    - Passive Voice: The ball was dropped by the player.
      - This sentence makes it seem like "ball" is the subject
      - When the subject does not look like it is "doing" the action, the sentence can be confusing
  - Example:
    - Active Voice: The taxi picked the girl up.
      - Subject: Taxi
      - Action: Picked
    - Passive Voice: The girl was picked up by the taxi.
      - This sentence makes it seem like "girl" is the subject which makes the sentence confusing

Active vs Passive Voice?

Having trouble telling the difference between active and passive voice? Try this trick:

Add "by zombies."

Yep. Its that simple. If you add "by zombies" after your verb and it still reads like a sentence - that's passive voice. Doesn't make sense? That's active voice.

Let's try one.

She was chased (by zombies) <----- PASSIVE VOICE

Zombies chased (by zombies) her. <----- ACTIVE VOICE

Active Voice Practice

Rewrite the following sentences using active voice.

The book was written by a famous author.
The final decision regarding the budget was made by the board after several hours of discussion.
The ancient ruins were discovered by archaeologists after months of excavation.
A groundbreaking medical breakthrough was achieved by the research team last year.
The city’s historic buildings were severely damaged by the hurricane.
Several mistakes were found in the report by the manager before it was submitted.
A new strategy for increasing sales was developed by the marketing team.
The missing documents were located by the investigator in an unexpected place.
The new software update was installed by the IT department overnight to prevent disruptions.
The championship trophy was won by the team.

Check Your Answers Here

Active Voice Practice Answers

The book was written by a famous author.

The famous author wrote the book.

The final decision regarding the budget was made by the board after several hours of discussion.

The board made the final decision regarding the budget after several hours of discussion.

The ancient ruins were discovered by archaeologists after months of excavation.

Archaeologists discovered the ancient ruins after months of excavation.

A groundbreaking medical breakthrough was achieved by the research team last year.

The research team achieved a groundbreaking medical breakthrough last year.

The city’s historic buildings were severely damaged by the hurricane.

The hurricane severely damaged the city’s historic buildings.

Several mistakes were found in the report by the manager before it was submitted.

The manager found several mistakes in the report before submitting it.

A new strategy for increasing sales was developed by the marketing team.

The marketing team developed a new strategy for increasing sales.

The missing documents were located by the investigator in an unexpected place.

The investigator located the missing documents in an unexpected place.

The new software update was installed by the IT department overnight to prevent disruptions.

The IT department installed the new software update overnight to prevent disruptions.

The championship trophy was won by the team.

The team won the championship trophy.

Syntax

Syntax in grammar is the set of rules that tells us how to arrange words in a sentence so that it makes sense. Think of it like a formula that helps us structure our thoughts properly - if words are in the wrong order, a sentence can sound confusing or completely incorrect.

- - Example:
    - Incorrect Syntax: The car that was blue sped down the street.
    - Corrected Syntax: The blue car sped down the street.
      - The corrected sentence is more concise and natural
  - Example:
    - Incorrect Syntax: The novel was interesting to me because of the characters that were well-developed.
    - Corrected Syntax: I found the novel interesting because of its well-developed characters.
      - The corrected sentence is more concise and natural

Syntax Practice

Rewrite the following sentences using proper syntax.

Running through the park, the flowers looked beautiful.
Because of the rain, the game, which was supposed to start at 3 PM, was delayed.
The teacher gave a test to the students that was very difficult.
The movie was enjoyed by everyone because of its interesting plot.
Without thinking, the decision was made quickly.
There was a dog that was barking loudly outside my window.
The new policy, which was introduced last week, many employees did not understand.
She handed the book to her friend that she borrowed last week.

Check Your Answers Here

Syntax Practice Answers

Running through the park, the flowers looked beautiful.

Running through the park, I noticed the beautiful flowers.
- (Clarifies who is running.)

Because of the rain, the game, which was supposed to start at 3 PM, was delayed.

Because of the rain, the 3 PM game was delayed.
- (Removes unnecessary words for clarity.)

The teacher gave a test to the students that was very difficult.

The teacher gave the students a very difficult test.
- (Eliminates ambiguity—what was difficult?)

The movie was enjoyed by everyone because of its interesting plot.

Everyone enjoyed the movie because of its interesting plot.
- (Uses active voice for a stronger sentence.)

Without thinking, the decision was made quickly.

Without thinking, they made the decision quickly.
- (Clarifies who made the decision.)

There was a dog that was barking loudly outside my window.

A dog was barking loudly outside my window.
- (More direct and natural.)

The new policy, which was introduced last week, many employees did not understand.

Many employees did not understand the new policy introduced last week.
- (Places the subject first for clarity.)

She handed the book to her friend that she borrowed last week.

She handed her friend the book she borrowed last week.
- (Clarifies what was borrowed.)

Parallel Structure

Parallelism is when elements of a sentence “echo” each other because they have similar form or structure. An unclear sentence rambles, drifting among unrelated topics in a haphazard and confusing fashion. Parallelism helps promote balance, emphasis, clarity, and readability - repeating key words can contribute to unity within an essay.

- - Example:
    - Nonparallel: Students spend their time going to classes, studying, working, and they wish they had time for a social life.
      - The endings are all -ing except for the last part (they wish they had time for a social life)
    - Parallel: Students spend their time going to classes, studying, working, and wishing for a social life.
      - Changing the last part to also have -ing makes this sentence parallel
  - Example:
    - Nonparallel: High-school students hope for short school days, or four-day weeks would be great, too.
      - The last part of the sentence has more wording to it which makes it confusing and not parallel
    - Parallel: High-school students hope for short school days or four-day weeks.
      - Changing the last part to "echo" the "short school days" makes it parallel
- Parallelism requires that an article (a, an, or the) or a preposition applying to all items in a list either appear before the first item only or be repeated before each item
  - Example:
    - Nonparallel: We can ride a horse, a donkey, llama, or alpaca.
      - The articles appear in the first or second item of the list, so we need to apply them to each of the items in the list or only have the article before the first item
    - Parallel: We can ride a horse, a donkey, a llama, or an alpaca.
      - Here we've added the article to each item in the list to make it parallel
    - Parallel: We can ride a horse, donkey, llama, or alpaca.
      - Here we only have the article before the first item in the list to make it parallel
  - Example:
    - Nonparallel: We have practice on Monday, Wednesday, and on Friday.
      - Adding "on" before "Friday" makes this sentence nonparallel
    - Parallel: We have practice on Monday, Wednesday, and on Friday.
      - Placing "on" only before "Monday" makes this sentence parallel

Parallel Structure Practice

Rewrite the following sentences using parallel structure.

She likes running, to swim, and biking.
The teacher told us to take notes, study for the test, and we should get enough sleep.
His favorite activities are playing soccer, reading books, and to watch movies.
The company values hard work, dedication, and being on time.
We need to decide whether we will go to the beach or if we should stay home.
The new intern is smart, hardworking, and pays attention to detail.
The coach wants the team to practice daily, eating healthy, and get enough sleep.
She enjoys not only listening to music but also to dance.
The company’s goals include expanding internationally, increasing sales, and to improve customer service.
The job requires someone who is organized, motivated, and pays attention to details.

Check Your Answers Here

Parallel Structure Practice Answers

She likes running, to swim, and biking.

She likes running, swimming, and biking.
- (All verbs are in the same form: gerunds.)

The teacher told us to take notes, study for the test, and we should get enough sleep.

The teacher told us to take notes, study for the test, and get enough sleep.
- (All actions follow "to" + verb.)

His favorite activities are playing soccer, reading books, and to watch movies.

His favorite activities are playing soccer, reading books, and watching movies.
- (All activities follow the same pattern: verb + object.)

The company values hard work, dedication, and being on time.

The company values hard work, dedication, and punctuality.
- (All nouns instead of mixing with "being on time.")

We need to decide whether we will go to the beach or if we should stay home.

We need to decide whether we will go to the beach or stay home.
- (Both choices use the same verb structure.)

The new intern is smart, hardworking, and pays attention to detail.

The new intern is smart, hardworking, and detail-oriented.
- (All adjectives for consistency.)

The coach wants the team to practice daily, eating healthy, and get enough sleep.

The coach wants the team to practice daily, eat healthy, and get enough sleep.
- (All actions are in the same form: "to" + verb.)

She enjoys not only listening to music but also to dance.

She enjoys not only listening to music but also dancing.
- (Both verbs follow the "-ing" form.)

The company’s goals include expanding internationally, increasing sales, and to improve customer service.

The company’s goals include expanding internationally, increasing sales, and improving customer service.
- (All verbs are in the -ing form.)

The job requires someone who is organized, motivated, and pays attention to details.

The job requires someone who is organized, motivated, and detail-oriented.
- (All adjectives for consistency.)

[CC BY-NC-SA 4.0] UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED | IMAGES: LICENSED AND USED ACCORDING TO TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION - INTENDED ONLY FOR USE WITHIN THE LESSON.

ACTIVE VS PASSIVE VOICE EXAMPLE COURTESY OF REBECCA JOHNSON VIA TWITTER/X