Over the past three units, you honed your skills in crafting 3-point paragraphs, comprising a claim, supporting evidence, and commentary elucidating the connection between the claim and evidence. In the upcoming three units, our focus will evolve as we advance beyond this framework to construct a more comprehensive 5-point multiple-paragraph literary analysis. This expanded structure will encourage a deeper exploration of literary elements and thematic intricacies, fostering a nuanced understanding of the text. Get ready to delve into a richer analytical approach, building on the foundation laid in the preceding units.
In this updated format, we have the ability to earn up to six points:
0-1 points for the thesis
0-4 points for evidence and commentary
0-1 points for sophistication
The rubric provides in depth details on each of these categories, but let's focus on the biggest pool, the points for evidence and commentary.
How to develop the evidence and commentary points (0-4)
For the upcoming paragraphs, the following will apply.
0 - No evidence
1 - The author summarizes evidence from the text, but there is no connection to a thesis. It’s essentially well-summarized random evidence.
2 - The author presents a specific piece of evidence and then directly connects it back to the thesis. Most of the time you must already have a claim to earn a 2 or higher with the evidence point.
3 – The author presents not only specific evidence but also mentions at least one literary technique or device. The evidence is then directly linked back to the claim with specific commentary. Generally, at this point there should be at least two substantial paragraphs of relevant evidence.
4 – The author has all parts of a specific claim supported with relevant evidence; more than one literary device is named and explained as supporting the claim. The commentary is relevant and accounts for depth of interpretation. Generally, at this level of evidence, there will be multiple well-developed paragraphs.
Practicing the Evidence Points
For this practice activity, there are three sample paragraphs based on the same prompt. Here is the original prompt:
The following excerpt is from Nisi Shawl’s novel Everfair, published in 2016. In this passage, the narrator describes the experience of a young woman, Lisette, as she rides her bicycle through the French countryside in July 1889. Read the passage carefully. Then, in a well-written essay, analyze how Shawl uses literary elements and techniques to portray Lisette’s complex response to her experience of riding her bicycle.
In your response you should do the following:
Respond to the prompt with a defensible thesis that presents an interpretation and establishes a line of reasoning
Select and use evidence to develop and support your line of reasoning
Refer to at least one specific literary device
Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning
Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your ideas
Each sample response has a different score from 0-6. Can you accurately grade each response?
In Nisi Shawl's Everfair, Lisette's enjoyment of the freedom and speed of her bike is shown to be liberating, but also undermined by her self-consciousness of how society views her love for it; this is portrayed through dynamic syntax and a shift in the mood of the poem.
Shawl highlights Lisette's intense euphoria when she rides her bike through the intense syntax that accompanies it. Through the quick-paced and frantic structure of sentences in the descriptions of her riding her bike, it is evident that Lisette is positively overjoyed by the rush she gets when riding. She passes nearby trees, homes, and roads in a flurry of "greenbrowngreengrey" and flickers through patches of sunlight and shade, switching between "coolwarmcoolwarm". Shawl mashes together these words to depict the speedy velocity at which Lisette is whipping by the world around her. The world seems to contort to a blur, just as multiple words are contorted into one. This portrays the vivacious sensory experience Lisette has as she is riding her bike and recreates the sense of freedom one gets when moving very fast. When riding her bike, Lisette feels free of the confines of her daily life and can simply enjoy what she is experiencing in the moment. Additionally, Shawl's frequent use of commas and long sentences symbolize the long distance Lisette travels on her bike and the multitude of things she feels at once. Gusts of wind "rushed into her face, whistled in her ears, filled her nose, tore her hair loose." The wind adds to Lisette's sensation that she is traveling very fast and increases her happiness all the more. The wind is often shown to be force untethered by any restrictions, and its control over Lisette can symbolizes her feelings of no boundaries or limits to what she can feel. Lisette's loose hair can also imply that she is able to lose herself while riding the bike and give into her own joy.
An evident shift in Lisette's emotions from excited and gleeful to embarrassed and self-conscious shows how her free spirited ride was looked down upon by onlookers. As Lisette notices the people watching her joyride on her bike, she beings to recognize individuals such as "Mademoiselle Carduner, the schoolmistress" and "Monsieur Lutterayne, the chemist", both upstanding figures of French society. Shawl's inclusion of their formal names emphasizes their sense of dignity and importance. They are portrayed to be of superior social class to Lisette, and are suggested to be disapproving of her lack of restraint on her bike. Because of this, Lisette begins to feel guilty, creating a sense of contrast to her bright and lively attitude when she was on her bike. Additionally, Shawl uses the shift in the excerpt to clarify that Lisette is sixteen years old and cannot even fasten her hair up again in front of others because "this was beyond her skill." Lisette, being a young teenage girl in nineteenth century French society, must have been subjected to traditional class and gender roles throughout her life. Therefore, her actions such as riding her bike and failing to tie her hair up again must have been looked down upon by others. It can be deduced that the pressures of society dictate that young women like Lisette always compose themselves and resort to more feminine activities that do not include such levels of exertion as riding a bike. Shawl uses this shift to clarify that despite Lisette's feelings of freedom when riding, she is not completely free in the society she lives in.
In a time where women where expected to remain at home devoted to their husbands and children, many women utilized any means to have an active life in the community in order to fully experience the world around them. In this excerpt from the novel Everfair, by Nisi Shawl, Lisette is described riding her bike in the countryside through the use of third person narration, unique diction, and syntax in order to create a vivid experience of how small moments can matter deeply to an individual.
Lisette's story is told through a third person narration. This type of writing creates a separate character beyond the central character. The narrator experiences the countryside sharing the excitement of "intoxicating" scents around Lisette. This shared excitement allows readers to picture themselves as the narrator and get a true portrayal of what emotions Lisette is experiencing. The efforts of riding her bike are described through her "boots..finding their places." This high energy moment, which could only have spanned for a few seconds in real life, was described in detail by Shawl. This leads readers to come to the conclusion that life is made up by small moments however trivial, that deserve to be appreciated.
The diction and syntax of this excerpt are unique in how they add to the sense of urgency and quick moments, yet further explore the emotions tied to this small experience. While preparing for her journey the flying insects around Lisette have "her face and her hands and her wrists and her ankles" all exposed to the nature around them. This repetition of the phrase "and her..." follows the thought process any excited individual could have when preparing for an anticipated journey. The view that Lisette has upon her bike is one that is quickly passing by due to the speed of her bike. This is further added to by the quick changing colors that pass by of "greenbrowngreengrey" creating a sense of excitement and wonder that Lisette and the reader experience together.
By diving into small details about this bike riding experience, it is inferred that Lisette is truly appreciative of the autonomy that her bike grants when living in a patriarchal society. This sense of female empowerment is all done through the use of third person narration, diction, and syntax.
In Nisi Shawl's novel Everfair, readers go through an excerpt about the main character, Lisette Toutournier, and her jovial experience on her bike ride. Shawl utilizes a variety of interesting literary devices in order to best describe Lisette's precise feelings and thoughts throughout.
Shawl primarily uses positive diction to exemplify Lisette's feelings, in the first paragraph. Words such as marvelous, friend, and intoxicating are primarily used to show good in a situation and Shawl uses them flawlessly. Shawl also uses some negative diction such as crushed, bruised, and creepers but alas she uses contradictive literary devices to flip the negative into positive.
Throughout the excerpt we see many varying literary devices being used to show just how powerful she feels about her new bike.
Sample Scoring
Previously, we have included sample scoring on the page. However, since the scoring is more in-depth with the extra points, we are instead going to share with you the official sample document from AP Central.
Does the analysis from AP match up with how you would have scored these essays?
Reflection
The AP Rubrics offer valuable guidance for constructing a well-organized paragraph that includes a clear claim supported by evidence. As you progress in your writing, consider the benefit of delineating the claim from the body paragraphs. Begin by crafting a succinct 3-4 sentence introduction paragraph that concludes with your central claim, followed by the subsequent paragraph that elaborates on your primary evidence point. Strive for a minimum of three substantial paragraphs when tackling AP English Literature FRQs.
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Literary Argument