MS: Cultural Lesson - Roman Weddings

Roman Weddings

The Roman view of marriage closely aligned with their general view of love. Marriage was seen as a duty, and there was little room for choice or romantic inclination in the process of forming a marriage bond.

Marriage Fundamentals

Early in Roman history, only patricians (upper class citizens) could be officially married, and then, only to other patricians. Plebians, the lower class, still practiced what we would call marriage, but it was not recognized or sanctioned by the state. In the patrician practice of confarreatio, the woman left her father’s household and became a member of her new husband’s household, subject to his pater familias (head of household). She was said to have passed in manum viri - into the hand of the man.

The image to the left depicts a wedding ring, showing dextrarum iunctio (the right hands clasped). This was a common symbol of marriage in Rome.

Because a woman was transferred, as property, it was called manumission (literally: having been sent by hand). In these earliest marriages, divorce was said to be completely unknown. The concept of manumission eventually eroded, as laws changed, and by the time of Augustus, a marriage that included manus (the possession of the wife as property) was extremely rare. The laws restricting divorce were also loosened, though it was still considered a last resort and was generally initiated by the man.

The Iustae Nuptiae - Laws of Marriage

Early in the history of Rome, as was already mentioned, only patricians could officially marry. Intermarriage between patricians and plebians was strictly forbidden by law. Over time, the hardliners failed to continue restricting marriage, and Romans came to practice marriage based on a set of laws called iustae nuptiae. The image shows a wedding carving from Roman sarcophagus. Romans celebrated their marriages even in death. Notice that the carving includes an image of Cupid, the son of Venus.

To get married, in the time of Augustus, the following details were required of the two parties joining in marriage:

• Each had to consent to the marriage.
• Neither person could be a child.
  • In Roman times this meant that a girl had to be at least 12 and a boy at least 14, but usually, the girls were at least 16.
  • Our modern standards would still call people of that age children, but the Romans had a different perspective.
  • Additionally, it was not uncommon for the man getting married to be older - it was often viewed as positive if he had already obtained recognition in the cursus honorum.
• The new couple could not be married to anyone else.
  • Rome never allowed or accepted polygamy.
• The two people could not be close relations.

Arranging the Marriage

Most often, the pater familias of two families would meet and arrange a marriage between suitable children. It was very rare at any point in Roman history for a patrician couple to marry for love. The main goal, in general, of Roman marriage was to establish alliances that would benefit both parties. In patrician households, girls might be promised to another prominent family in hopes of concluding a business arrangement, even if that marriage might not occur for many years. The goal, for both families, was to attempt to move up in the social hierarchy of Roman society. In the plebian class, this was still true, though the looser restrictions on marriage in the early history of Rome did lead to marriages of love along with marriages of convenience.

Traditions of the Wedding Ceremony

Many of the traditions of the wedding day have been passed down from the Romans and are still practiced in modern wedding ceremonies. The bride was dressed with the help of her mother in a tunica recta (formal tunic) which was tied with the nodus Herculaneus (knot of Hercules), which only the new husband was allowed to untie. The bride wore a flammeum (flame-colored veil), and because of this, the verb nubere (to veil) came to mean to marry.

The image to the right shows a wall fresco of a young woman being helped with dressing. In wealthy families, a slave would be responsible for doing hair and make-up along with assisting in dressing for normal occasions. For a wedding, the mother would take over this duty. This young woman could be preparing for her wedding. The night before the wedding, the young bride sacrificed her toys and her bulla to her father’s lares et penates (household gods), preparing herself to become a member of her husband’s household.

The wedding ceremony itself was carried out in front of witnesses, and included the phrase:

• Quando tu Gaius, ego Gaia (and later: Ubi tu Gaius, ibi ego Gaia)
• When and where you are Gaius, then and there I am Gaia.

The expression did not change depending on the actual names of the married couple, but was symbolic. It was the Roman version of the vow I do. 

This image above depicts a wedding procession. The couple sits on the right edge of the image, with others presenting gifts in a line. The wedding involved a procession and a feast, in which family and friends gave the new couple gifts and the new couple ate cake. Then, at the end of the ceremony, when the new couple returned to the husband’s home, he would carry his bride over the threshold. He would hand his new bride fire and water, symbols of her duty as a wife and eventually mother to protect the hearth and home. Many of the traditions of the Roman wedding were carried over into Christian weddings, and many are still practiced to this day.

The following images are courtesy of VRoma Links to an external site.:

• Wedding Ring
• Sarcophagus
• Girl being dressed

The wedding procession image is courtesy of FCIT Links to an external site..